My first blog...

So here it is, my very first blog. Mind you, it's not the first time I'm writing something, but the first time it's in a blog. It's funny, because if you were to go back to some 15 years ago, and then think about 'a man and his blog', you would certainly be forgiven for thinking that his 'blog' was something vulgar!

I'll have to ask you to forgive me and my humour. The reality is that I have my own writing style, and it is a bit different to Shakespeare's. In fact, Shakespeare would probably have given me all he had in exchange for my writing style. Having said that, I wouldn't have accepted for two reasons. First of all, I'm proud of my style, and would choose it over Shakespeare's any day of the week, and secondly, when I say he'd have given all he had, I literally mean it. That includes his wife, and I'm led to believe that she isn't my type...

So anyway, what shall I write about? The topics high up on my agenda are: Ghana, Ghana, and Ghana. Sounds boring? Tough luck, they say that variety is the spice of life, and I don't like spices. Neither for that matter am I fond of spicy beers, irrespective of whether the Belgians are proud of them or not. As for the Ghanaians, they also enjoy their spices, so I suspect I'm going to need some mildly-spiced foods for myself. Alternatively plain rice with mouse meat balls and no spices would do just as nicely. I'm told termites are quite zingy too... and I'm beginning to wonder whether KFC's Zinger Burger had any termites in the recipe. After all, the recipe is a well-kept KFC secret, and surely the need to keep it secret is suspect.

Now as you can see, my attention span is about as long as my finger nails. I said I'll talk about Ghana, and here I am talking about Belgian beer, KFC's Zinger, and my nails. Now, just for the record, I'm led to believe that nails are dead cells. Also for the record, wouldn't it be more efficient if nails didn't grow, and therefore didn't need to be cut? After all, it's not like being in Ghana will be like being in the most hygienic of places. Can you imagine biting your nails after they've spent a day gathering Ghanaian dust? Disgusting isn't it? That's exactly why I'm thinking of sticking to a diet of termites. At least they're alive and kicking, as compared to the dead cells in my nails.

Believe it or not I'll be heading off to Ghana in less than 2 weeks' time. A special mention has to go to the rest of the group, with whom I have already spent a large number of hours preparing for this voluntary work experience. So Bianca, Heeleen, Lorraine, Maria and Ryan, thanks for everything. You are, put simply, great to be around, and I'm really happy that we'll be going through this experience together. As for Keith... pity you chickened out (no, no, I'm just kidding here, because it's really a 'blessing', not a 'pity'), but thanks just the same for helping us prepare for the experience. Like I said, my sense of humour has no limits, and can at times be interpreted as being offensive. I beg anyone and everyone not to get offended by anything I say here. It's my writing style, and when I say something like I just did about Keith, it's actually a sign that I respect the individual, and know that they'll take the joke. So yes Keith, I am kidding :)

Just in case you didn't realise, in the previous paragraph I mentioned the other 5 members of the "Ghana group" in alphabetical order. You see, nothing is left to chance. That is why we need to have everything prepared for Ghana, and just in case you're wondering what 'everything' means, all you have to do is go to http://dictionary.reference.com/ and type the word in. It's amazing isn't it? And to think that when I was still at school it was all about carrying a book with you... a book which said "Dictionary" somewhere on the front cover... a book which, when you consider how many of them were printed, must account for loads and loads of trees meeting the end of their happy days. Who knows, it may even have been forests.

Talking about forests, it looks like we won't see any in Ghana. What we will however see is a lot of dirt roads. Dust doesn't cost you anything over there, which is a pity because if you empty your shoes and your lungs you'd probably have enough to make a fortune by selling it. There is however a way to make money out of dust and dirt, and that is by washing cars. Now when I say 'washing cars', you didn't really think I mentioned it by coincidence, did you? No, no, no. I suspect that if you thought it was coincidence, then you really didn't read the paragraph before this one too well, because in there I said, "You see, nothing is left to chance."

Just in case you haven't heard (I don't think this is really possible), we're organising a car wash this coming Saturday, 25 July, in aid of the voluntary work in Ghana. Details of the car wash can be found on the SPYS website, or on this Facebook event page, although you can of course make a donation without bringing your cash to be washed. You will also see that I uploaded the event's poster to this blog. I hope you like it... I created it with my own sweat and blood. In fact, if you like it, I'm sure I can do something similar for you provided that you give us a donation :)

Ahhhh, this is so like the good old days when I used to be in Coudersport, Boston or London, writing long e-mails after midnight. It might at first appear silly to do it, given that I have to wake up for work in the morning. The reality is that with my brain sprinting a marathon distance, there is really absolutely no point in trying to sleep yet, since it would serve two purposes only. One would be to frustrate me because I wouldn't manage to sleep, and the other would be to frustrate me more because I would be wasting time which I could otherwise have used to write this blog. It's exactly the same reason that has in the past driven me to cook light meals in the early hours of mornings, or trim (some would rather say shave off) my hair at about 3:00am. Provided you wake up fresher than a piece of bread that has been there for a few weeks, you're good to go. In my case, I'll be as fresh as a freshly-cut cucumber. The only difference is that a cucumber is disgusting, and I am not :)

I think I'll stop writing now. Just in case you were wondering, the only reason why I'm going to stop writing is because I fear you've already stopped reading (or would have done so shortly), and there really isn't any point in writing any more. I want to make it clear that I'm not stopping because I have nothing more to write, but rather because of... didn't I just tell you why? Whether that is clear as crystal or clear as mud I'm not sure, but in Ghanaian terms, the volume of dust will tend to make things as clear as mud.

Before I head off into what will probably be a massive struggle to manage to sleep, I want to remind you that:

• we have a car wash on Saturday 25 July at GS Superstore in Naxxar, and
• if you don't want to bring your car over, you're still more than welcome to make a donation. Any donations are welcome and greatly appreciated

That is all for now. I thank you for your attention. You have been listening to me, reporting for 'Ghana group experience', on Blogger FM radio. Stay tuned for further updates.